Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
(AKA: How to kill a cinematic universe)

By now I think that everybody have seen this movie and if you don’t I don’t care, because I saw it the opening weekend and I have been saving this review for some time now so here it comes, also some spoilers but you know, the trailers spoil it first.

This movie wasn’t the best comic book movie I saw that day! I mean in order was Flash point paradox, Scott Pilgrim vs The World and way at the bottom Batman v Superman. I mean this movie has everything against, starting by Snider.

This movie is the sequel to “Man of steel” also knows as” Space Jesus goes crazy and stuff” why I think is weird because is a sequel to Superman and his name goes second on the title but, why? Anyhow here we see the world being afraid of Superman because he is very powerful and takes no one’s crap like a sassy black woman. Well the US is super into make Superman swear that is al pro USA but this guy says “meh!”

Then we have Batman that by some reason now decided to kill people and raise mayhem in Gotham city destroying half the city on his tank, after 3 movies saying he doesn’t want to kill anybody and be like a ninja and work in the shadows. Also he has himself let go and looks fat, People will say “he is not fat is buff” but face it if you have to do all those acrobatics every night you get skinny. So this guy hates Superman because he destroyed not only the Wayne building but also destroyed the Wayne satellite. I mean one thing is destroying the building, he owns the construction company, demolition and cleaning city. But the satellite? He has to pay a third party to put it up in space, and that was not cheap. Anyway Batman is in this movie because he is afraid of Sup to so he says that if there is one chance that superman goes on a crazy rampage we have to kill it now, you know the American way, kill him before he can even be a threat.

Then we have Alexander Luthor, son of a better character Lex Luthor that is not in this movie but we have his son, some kind of mental patient that has the same sickness that Peewee Herman. You know acting like a child and flapping their extremities randomly all the time, and chronic masturbation. By some reason he wants Superman dead, why who knows and wants Batman to do it why? Well… who am I his mother he just does, there is no motivation. Also has a plan b but that is later in the movie. Also you can picture Luthor running around in his underwear throwing shit at the walls and his character doesn’t changes at all.

Well I was looking forward to this movie because I like comic books since forever, and well Batman Superman is the classic fight, the dark brooding guy versus the upbeat always smiling demigod, but here we have the psychopath homicidal versus the psychopath homicidal that dress like a bat. There is no contrast, nobody is a good guy, you see the 3 sides of the story (Batman, Superman and Luthor) and there is no way you can agree 100% with any of them. Superman is an egomaniac that think his way is the only way, Batman is a psychopath that believes that genocide is an answer to a problem, and Luthor thinks that you can turn off a fire by throwing gasoline to it. On the other hand those 3 are the American way :S

Then again here we see that Batman is the dumbest character in the film, because everybody can outsmart him, and his only way to get information is by brute force, so detective like.

But don’t worry there are more character each more wonderful than the other, Wonder Woman is more like a foot note here in the story than a character with like 7 lines of dialog, and Lois Lane again has the power to be where ever the plot demands it. Jimmy Olsen, that’s right there is Jimmy Olsen here, is the guy at the beginning of the film that gets killed execution style well that what you get for being “Superman’s pal” he will save you but if Lois is in trouble you are on your own. No matter that he is faster than a speeding bullet.

The film follows the 3 storylines (if you can call them that) people say it is confusing but it is not, is just very bad writing and lots of omissions because they didn’t knew how to make the plot work. Seriously this movie is like connect the dots the writer decided to not do his work and leave it to you to fill the blanks, but not in the good way of a mystery movie more like a script made by an eight years old, not a very talented one.

There are not enough backstory in the characters to want to kill each other more than they are like rabid dogs and want a good opponent. Is more like a dick measuring contest than a fight for their ideals.

The way people act in this movie is so far from reality that ruins the flow of it. By some reason the broadcaster of the news says that a pedophile that batman tagged got beat up in jail and says that it was likely because batman drew on him, but if you know anything of jail you’ll know that happens to those criminals in jail. The people in the Wayne tower didn’t ran scared and evacuate the building the moment the fight broke or when it got close or even when it started to collapse. This means one of two things or people in Metropolis are really stupid or Wayne industries are some of the worst employers in the world, something like:

-Sir can I leave early?
-Why?
-Because some alien spaceship is destroying the city.
-If I let you leave then everybody will want to go out early and these memos will not be delivered.
-But sir…
-No buts, and if I even see you leave your cubicle to go to the toilet I’ll take it as your resignation. NOW BACK TO WORK!

One thing that bothers me the most and nobody is talking is that in Man Of Steel they said that the atmosphere was what give Superman his powers, I didn’t care much and they work with it during Man of Steel making that they wore space suits in earth and superman loosed his strength when boarded their ship. But here Superman gets a hit from a nuclear missile and then the sun lights him and he gets his powers back. The guy was in space, no atmosphere there the sun gave him the powers, so what was it the sun or the atmosphere? I don’t like the lack of continuity in a story.

In the final battle they are like “we need Kryptonite to kill Doomsday” but if you pay attention Wonder Woman was doing a fine job by herself, I mean I Batman would have shot one gas bullet to Doomsday she could have cut him in pieces, I mean she cut Doomsday arm when he was fighting full power, so here Wonder Woman is more powerful than Superman, or at least this is how it looked.

The simple Idea that they used Doomsday is ridiculous, because one thing that I think nobody got it from Doomsday is that he is not a character, he is not a villain he is an event is the end of an era. The idea of Doomsday was, out with the old and bring the new wave, that’s why the death of Superman wasn’t by Lex Luthor or Brainiac or Darkseid not even the Jocker, but one character that was created just for that purpose, and that is the point that he died just after killing Superman because his job was done, no need for a reboot anytime soon, but why would you do that in your second movie where you want to start everything? The death of superman should be when all the world love him and depend on him to save us, but here half the planet hated him and wanted him dead, in the death of superman Lex Luthor laments Superman’s death. But here technically he killed him.

This was more like an amalgam of trailers to show you the DC universe that now is dying and in panic mode, than a movie.

One thing that bother me the most is that all DC fanboys are attacking Marvel and defending this movie with one simple line “Well I like it and you can’t make me change my mind” “Or “DC makes more adult movies than Marvel”. Well I can’t argue with the people that likes the movie just because they like it. But to the people that say DC makes more adult movies they are here for a good beating. First Marvel makes the whole spectrum, there are silly and fun movies in marvel but then you have movies like “The Winter Soldier” where you get deeper understanding of the characters, the way how politics work, corruption and a lot of themes that are wrapped in a superhero movie versus an adolescent fantasy poorly written with more holes than a mine field. DC movies are not more adult just because they are dark and brooding, in fact that makes them childish like the kid in middle school wearing a T-shirt with a skull, that isn’t adult nor cool is just proper for his age. Adult means well written stories and deep themes with introspection and evolution.

I’m not a fanboy and what I would love is good movies from both universes, I think that DC is making a good job with the animated universe and the TV Universe (except for Supergirl but that is a complete different post) but the movies are still ashamed that are comic book movies and try to make it different than the comics so mixing reality and comics but without knowing how either work, so we get this kind of movies.

You can see DC is in panic mode because they are changing the dates of their movies and Suicide Squad is going through massive and very expensive reshoots. But that is normal, right? The point is that DC haven’t realized that they are the other big comic books company in the world, not number 2 but the other number 1, and are reacting like a bunch of scared toddlers, when they should have be going to their own rhythm and following the line of their own comics and not trying to reinvent what has been going for more than 60 years.

The movie is boring, makes no sense, have like 12 minutes of action, the characters are poorly written, the direction is horrible, the photography is worse, and have a ton of plot holes. But you are going to watch it if you haven’t seen it already.

** 2 stars out of 5 Bad movie but people is going to watch it, just because.