Suicide

 

I have thought of suicide, way more times than your average person, and is not because my life is horrible and I can’t take it anymore, is not like I drown my cries in my pillow, or I got my heart broken one too many times. None of that, is just because I don’t see any more for me.

 

I like to think of my situation in my life as when you are playing in a sandbox video game and get stuck where all the map is available but is super boring to go from a one point to the other, and you can’t use the transportation and the story will not go on because you screw up in one point so you can just wander around aimlessly for eternity and the only think you can do is start over. Well I can’t start over and I can’t continue the story, so the only sensible thing is stop playing and forget about it.

 

My life has its commodities but at the same time has its frustrations, the worst part is that I have to keep on with the frustrations just to get the point where I can’t do anything anymore and die. That isn’t a future to look up to.

 

I don’t look to have a wife and kids because I don’t see the point of that, my friends who have families almost disappear into multiple jobs and move to small houses far away from the city.

 

So I don’t see the point on going on, only for the idea of going on, there is no end goal. So yes, that is why I think on suicide every day.