I don't know

I don't know why I help her, I don't know why I put her before me at every choice I make. I don't know why I just can't walk away. I know if she walks away I'll be fine in a day. After all I'm Metal Man, or at least that's how all my past relationships called me, with a heart made of metal getting so hot it can burn you, cooling so fast it seems was never even warm and impossible to get into it.

But at this point I might got soft, I just know I need to help her, which is funny, I don't even know her name but just thinking she might be facing a hard time makes me want to go further and help her even more. 

I saw a post that read, if you win the lottery, who would be the first person you'll pamper? And without missing a beat I just thought of her. Above even myself. For her I got a debt 4 months worth of my salary and still I want to buy her clothes, games, food, and anything she wants.

And I know I most likely will never see her in person. I have a horrible job with a slave salary, so no point on dreaming of knowing her much less having a relationship. But at this point I only have 3 things in mind:

-Keep her healthy 

-Keep her feed

-Keep her happy

Until I feel like writing again.